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Lost In My Mind [Single]

by d o u b t

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First single for the upcoming mixtape "Ruining Hip Hop [Part Two: Setting Fire to Dogma]"

lyrics

You could get lost in my mind,
Searching for answers you cant find.
Yo, the light behind my eyes,
Is to show others im not blind.

I could put my dreams aside,
Become a casualty of time.
Or I could utilize my skill set,
And become one with the grind.

Like pickin the pieces up,
Reconstrust before they can go beat it up.
Gorilla glue, im feelin stuck,
Antidepressants are not enough.

My thought process, a labyerinth.
Ever since I was born.
Never confined to the box,
And oblivious to the score.

Spent nights lookin for more,
A gentle rapping at my door.
I rose and opened it,
Standing there, the long lost lenore.

No love interest, all business,
Intentions seen as cryptic.
When I spit flows on the tryptich,
I leave them asking what is this.

Flabergasted,
Jaws drop in surprise.
When I procreate ideas,
Mitosis creating new life.

Evolving past human device.
A new species on the cyph-
I came to see that
I had trancended normal life.

[Hook]

I never really understood
The term bookworm.
Until I myself started
Devouring the pages for sustinance.

One of us, one of them,
Ego death is how you win.
But sins will blur the line between
Those you love and the rest of them

I had some friends who left my side,
Faded away with passing time.
I guess they were the silver ones,
Tarnished by how I lived my life.

And, yeah, that’s fine,
i accept that they didn’t understand.
If places were reversed,
I couldn’t say id have a better plan.

But, damn, I was lost in myself,
Refusing any offered help.
Preoccupied by racing thoughts,
Gathering dust upon my shelf.

I caught glimpses of clarity,
But they were far and few between.
The encompassing suffering
That I had come to call my being.

Was it reality?
Or was it all a bad dream?
I had lost the ability to
Differentiate between.

The happenings externally,
And chaos raging internally.
All had become one,
With me begging myself for mercy.

[Hook]

so many nights I spent
accumulating useless knowledge.
Filled my brain abscure topics,
And I thought it was all harmless.

but the overabundance of data,
permiated and scattered.
Shattering my view of self,
And blocking out what really mattered.

Abstract patterns,
Theories carefully constructed.
Thought I had a beautiful mind,
Answers easily deducted.

In truth my view was abstructed,
By the drugs and mental illness.
I could feel it, the madness,
Creeping closer, onto my shoulder

Whispering sudective sweet nothings
Pretending it was something.
I could use to light my path,
To keep the darkness from touching..

Me.. but now I see
The falacies that I believed.
Whole heartedly simply because
I was so lonely.

The easiest lies to accept
Are the ones that you tell yourself.
Because you understand the complexities
Without any help.

Story written in pencil,
You weilding the eraser.
Changing the past at the drop of a hat,
Just to feel better.

[Hook]

credits

released June 26, 2013
Produced, Written, Recorded, and Mixed by Jacob Mckinley
This is a S.W.I.M. Records production
Featuring vocal samples from the movie A Scanner Darkly

license

all rights reserved

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d o u b t Long Beach

d o k n o w.
d x n t c a r e.

ギャング。
ギャング。
ギャング。

i m m o r t a l b o y s
w e n e v e r d i e

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